This is Holy
By Lisa A. McCrohan
You touch the holy each time you slow down to your daughter’s pace,
each time you decide to linger in her embrace.
You touch the holy when you tenderly wash your son’s back,
when you give your partner a little slack.
You touch the holy each time you see yourself as enough,
each time you tell your boy it’s ok and he doesn’t have to be tough.
You touch the holy in the mundane, the ordinary, the mess,
and in the moments you choose to do less.
The holy is right here in your hands, your touch, your presence, your smile.
The holy is right here in the moment you decide to pause and linger for awhile.
Lisa A. McCrohan, © 2013
Recently, my family and I went to the Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg, VA. And while it was a fun time filled with good friends, adventures, and lots of swimming, I found myself reflecting on the experience. I like going on adventures. I like exploring different parts of the world. I am grateful we can offer our children these experiences. However, these vacations don’t and can’t replace how we go about the ordinary days at home. They don’t make up for the times at home when we forget how to just BE – be kind and be present.
When someone asks me about my own childhood, the memories that come to my heart are the “everyday moments.” How my mom – a mom of four children in the span of nine years – would tuck me into bed and sing to me. How I’d wait at the end of our street for my dad to come home from work, and we’d be together – just me and him – up the short drive to our house. How I’d get up early and go to mass with my dad. How my mom would take the time to put French braids in my hair.
Yes, and I also remember the hurts. These, too, happened in the “everyday” of being a family – harsh ways of talking to each other, not being there, wanting attention, wanting things to be quieter (in a family of six!). The hurts aren’t over NOT going on vacation to Aruba, NOT getting a car when I turned 16, NOT getting every single thing I wanted. No, the hurts happened in the ordinary, too.
And so while we are making Summer plans – deciding on camps and vacations – I am also reflecting on how extraordinary the ordinary is. I’m reflecting on how I don’t have to GIVE my children much in terms of stuff or even wild adventures. My loving presence in the most ordinary of days is enough.
Friends…What do you think would happen if, today, you believed you didn’t have to do anything more? That you didn’t have to try to be a good parent, partner, friend, coworker? What if you just decided to offer your loving presence and believed it is enough? That what is extraordinary about you is just…you — your voice, soft touch, full attention?
So many people I talk to in workshops, counseling, coaching…friends over our house and in our kitchen chatting – want to be “better.” Better parents, better partners – better, better, better. I get sooo caught up in this, too. We believe we have to offer more, do more, be more, try more – more, more, more.
What if, today, we just offered our loving presence – in the simple, everyday ways that arise as we wake, as we see our children, as we see our partner, as we engage with others?
Today, try believing that you don’t have to do anything more to be extraordinary. Just your loving presence is enough. Really.
You pausing in the chaos of getting out the door to school and to look at your child. This is holy. This is enough. Keep weaving these little ways of connecting into your day.
You pausing as you look in the mirror to say something kind to yourself. This is holy. Keep speaking gently.
You pausing as a friend stops you at the bus stop to really look at her and listen to her. This is holy. Keep mirroring your sister’s goodness.
You pausing to notice the good in your partner – AND TELL HIM ABOUT IT. This is holy. Keep noticing how he lights up when you see his goodness.
As many of us planners start to look at the summer agenda, let’s not forget to be RIGHT HERE. Let’s remember that these moments are holy. And slowing down enough to offer our loving presence is way more than any vacation or grand adventure. It’s enough. It’s more than enough – it’s HOLY.
Lisa A. McCrohan
MA, LCSW-C, RYT
Mom. Compassion Coach. Psychotherapist. Delight Passionista.
** Do you feel like you could use some coaching in bringing mindfulness and compassion into your daily living, loving, and working? THIS IS WHAT I LOVE DOING! Let me accompany you! Visit the Barefoot Barn for more information. Email me at lmccrohan(at)gmail(dot)com. And check out my website that is in a state of “under construction” as my awesome designer and I work on a new site. Stay tuned for the big move!)