100th Post: Love Heals

This is my 100th post. Some may reach that marker in a month. It took me over two years. And that’s just perfect.

I’ve been writing since I was in third grade. Books of tall tales, mysteriously missing christmas presents, flying love bugs from outerspace, and friends who make you smile. I started a “blog” on my old website long before I knew what a blog was. My soul softly smiles when I write a poem for a dear one. It’s in my bones that I’ll write a book someday. And if I don’t, my kiddos might (with all the journals I’ve left them!).

Here’s the thing: I used to put undue stress on myself with “shoulds” and deadlines about my life’s work. There was this urgency in me. The kind that originates from fear. Fears that hide themselves quite well within you and disguise themselves as allies of your “becoming.” I wanted to write books and books and books. I felt CALLED to, divinely inspired to.

But fear ALWAYS comes from ego. Not from the soul.

I am still called to write. I am still inspired to share the truths that rise up from within me, breathed by the Divine-in-residence of my soul. I am still called to lead – movements and meditations that connect us to our Selves, each other and the Divine. Every time I turn around, it’s as though God breathes this knowing in me.

BUT. HOW I go about what I do has shifted. The urgency – well, I sat with it. Loved it. Gave it room to be held. Craddled it.

And underneath that laid my fears. Fear of (and I’m being quite honest here) not “being” anyone. Of not “doing anything special” before I died. Fear of “not being remembered” long after I was in the grave. So I held those, too. Loved them. Craddled them.

I didn’t do this alone. My “tribe” of dear ones, my beloved Brian, my children — my greatest teachers — their love for me has wrapped itself around every raw bone in my body until my bones remembered the Truth we all know long before we are born: we are beautiful, safe, protected, adored, and so so loved.

And over time, not in one fell swoop, not in a magical wave of the wand, I sensed a peace taking up residence within me. Where there used to be fields of anxiety, now seeds of contentment blossomed. No rush. It’s all perfect. Just. As. It. Is.

And that seems to be the voice I hear now when the old storyline of fear creeps up. I am exactly where I am to be in this moment. Holding my little ones, being with Brian, leading a meditation at work, or writing a poem. I am reminded of Hafiz’s words,

“The place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.”

Now when I sense an urgency in me, it’s the fire of LOVE rather than the chains of fear. And my exhale reminds me:

“in the end, what matters most is:

how well did you love,

how fully did you live,

how deeply did you learn to let go?”

- Buddha

Let go. Of all plans. Ego. And, yes, even dreams.

Because, really, what any blog post, article or book I’ve ever written or will write comes down to is this:

Love heals.

And if I can breathe that Truth into the moments I am with my children, my husband, my dear ones, my colleagues, I have done enough…whether I never write a book or I write a hundred.

And I hope my final words with my last breath are: “thank you.” Because love has truly transformed me and healed me. I am forever grateful. And I am grateful for the movement within me to offer that love as the poetry of my heart to the world.

fully present and delighting

Mindful Moment: a thousand hearts in my heart

After I picked up A. from preschool this afternoon, my little honey says, “Mom, ya know what?”

Me: “What love?”

A.: “I’ve got a thousand hearts in my heart.”

Me: “That’s lovely, A.”

A.:  “Yeah.  That means I love everyone.  Do you know that? {Pause.} Do you have a ‘thousand hundred’ hearts in yours?”

Me: “Oh my love, some days, some moments, yes, I do. ” {wishing there were more times when I’d get out of my own way, get out of my prideful way, and open my heart – wide open.}

A.: “That’s a nice way to feel, isn’t it, mom?”

Me: {with my heart bursting} “Yes, it is.  When we have those feelings of loving everyone and everyone is in our heart.  It is a lovely feeling.”

It was one of those moments that we all have when kiddos speak such wisdom that it “rights” our hearts, shifts the ground we walk on, and roots us again in what is important, true, and holy. I drove home with a lighter heart.

He reminded me of a poem I wrote a few years ago.  It’s about what can happen when I/we just breathe and allow and open and soften.  (Thanks, Hafiz and Thich Nhat Hanh for inspiring me):

Little Did I Know

Little did I know
when I was breathing in and said,
“I am breathing in”
and when I was breathing out
I said, “I am breathing out”
that
my
heart
would
s
o
f
t
e
n

so much so that
each person
became

my beloved.

Lisa A. McCrohan, ©2009

Tips for Everyday Mindfulness #7: Appreciating what is

As Brian and I assess and discern some new possibilities in our life, I am finding that there is a growing awareness of and appreciation for the life we have.

Often in the daily “doing” of our lives, day after day, it’s hard to see the “bigger picture” of our lives.

To appreciate it just as it is.

To see how all the dots connect and lead right to where we are.

And when we can come up for air and get an “aerial view” of our life, it seems like part of some “bigger plan”…like the ancient Persian poet Hafiz says, “The place you are right now God circled on a map  for you.”

And then we sense within us a contentment.  We want nothing.  There is only appreciation.  And openness.  And gratitude.  A willingness to let everything be just as it is.  Even the new possibilities.  Allowing them to appear on our doorstep without any efforting.

I am in that place right at this moment.  A deep appreciation.  A liberating openness.

The place you are in right now, God circled on the map for you.  Whether or not you “like” your sitation.  Instead of resisting it.  Sense it.  Breathe in this truth.  Breathe with what your life is RIGHT NOW.  And notice how a sense of spaciousness and liberation visits your heart…even if you cry because life is so painful right now.  A tender heart is a heart that is open to the Divine.  A tender heart leans in toward Home.  And THAT brings peace.

Soulful Quotes for Inspiration #4

Here are two beautiful quotes that I hope resonate within your own hearts. At the beginning of this new year, I find myself moving more and more into the gentleness and passion and vulnerability and luminous wisdom of the heart. I hope you join in!

How can you ever hope to know the Beloved without becoming in every cell the Lover?
- Rumi

***************************

Awake awhile.
It does not have to be forever.
Right now. One step upon the Sky’s soft skirt would be enough.
Awake awhile.
Just one True moment of Love will last for days.
Rest all your elaborate plans and tactics for knowing Him,
For they are all just frozen spring buds
Far, so far from Summer’s Divine Gold.
Awake, my dear.
Be kind to your sleeping heart.
Take it out into the vast fields of Light
And let it breathe.
Say, “Love, give me back my wings.
Lift me, lift me nearer.”
Say to the sun and moon, say to our dear Friend,
I will take you up now, Beloved,
On that wonderful Dance You promised!”

- Hafiz

Tips for Everyday Mindfulness #4: Breathe

Every client who comes into my office experiences the power of a simple technique that we do together…

Mindful Breathing.

Whether you are in rush-hour traffic, tending to a screaming kiddo, giving a presentation at work, or having a “discussion” with your partner, the number one thing you can do for yourself is to take a few mindful breaths.

Why?
- Just a few mindful breaths instantly brings you back into your body and into a state of mindful presence.
- You move out of “fight or flight” (the “stress response”) and can now use the rational part of your brain (ie you can respond instead of react!).
- When your breath becomes smooth and deep, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system – you turn on the “relaxation response”.
- You gather yourself and collect your scattered energy.
- You become grounded and centered.

You can do this ANYtime and ANYwhere.

So how do you do it?

Here is the Mindful Breathing 101 technique that I do with clients. You get this and you are on your way to instantly reducing the impact of a stressful situation or difficult emotion:

Sit, stand, or lay down.
Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly.
Inhale — let this inhale be however it is.
Exhale — exhale completely….exhaaaaaaaale the last little bit of the breath out.
Then repeat — a few more times.
Notice how you feel.

That’s it.

We focus on the exhale at first because 1. sometimes folks are anxious or panicky. Asking them to take a deep inhale can be hard, forced, labored. This just gets us more anxious. and 2. the inhale will automatically follow the exhale. Once your exhale becomes deep and longer, your inhale will follow.

If you like, you may add:
closing your eyes,
feeling your feet on the ground,
noticing the parts of your body touching the chair (or if standing, relaxing the knees),
relaxing the belly,
imagining a wide and expansive collarbone,
imagining the crown of your head lifting up to the sky,
relaxing your face — eyes, lips, jaw, tongue,

then…if you’d like…
bring your attention to the center of your chest/heart and imagine a soft light glowing there.
Spend a few moments lingering here – noticing, allowing, sensing the expansiveness.
Notice how this feels.
And then slowly open your eyes.

Aaaaaahhhhh!

Everything I do with clients – trauma work, managing depression and anxiety, addressing parenting or relationship issues — builds off of these simple, but profound exercises. And EVERYone can do them. I hope you cultivate a bit of peace, stillness, and compassion in your next mindful breath.

————————

“Awake, my dear. Be kind to your sleeping heart.
Take it out into the vast field of light and let it breathe.”
- Hafiz

“In just one breath you can begin to change your physiology, your thinking, and your emotional state.”
- Dr. Andrew Weil

“When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”
- Thich Nhat Hahn

“Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”
-Thich Nhat Hahn